call him out

there have been these thoughts swirling in my head lately.  they are teeny bits of self-talk which are causing me to stress out, experience pity, and even rethink my own worth. there have been moments where I've shut down and reached the verge of tears.  

there have been moments where I've felt God was just sitting back and letting me have what I deserve.

today i woke up and faced them

i acknowledged them with a fierce promise to hear them just this one time, but no more.

i welcomed them into my day with a rolled out carpet, red with the blood of my Savior.

i lay face down on my bedroom floor, submitting to the God of my redemption, and spoke those words in the direction they rightfully should go --  


down to the world from whence they came

down to the one who sent them up 

down to the darkness they were born in.

I spoke them back down, exactly the way they were spoken to me:

you're not worthy

you're not able

your goal will not be reached

you can't win

everyone knows you're weak 

everyone knows you'll fail in the end 

just stay where you are

this is too big for you 

who are you to think you will ever succeed?

as I spoke these words I realized I was in dialogue with the wicked one.  everything I could ever want to say to him, but just didn't know how, had been given to me by him. I realized that, though he is very crafty, he fails to realize how creative our God is.

God created creativity, 
and not even the whims of satan himself 
are not exempt from a beautiful reversal

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