unsettled // the september series
this is not going to be the normal series found on this blog, but rather, the direct reflection of what i will be living this month. yes, the blog should be like this on the regular.. but there is enough editing and scheduling to mask the chaos that truly exists in my life.
as of today, however, i am forced to forgo that schedule
today, we are homeless.. in a sense.
we have ended a lease to stay with a friend as we pray for a house and plan for a future. we certainly have options if this house does not come through, but in the meantime we are living on, well, a prayer.
in the meantime we are in "travel mode" as we live out of suitcases and sacrifice comfort.
in the meantime we are storing up our belongings and taking only the bare necessities..
(ok, I do have more than a couple maxi dresses in my bag)
in the meantime we are spending more time together and less time just together-in-the-same-room-while-the-tv-is-on-and-I'm-doing-dishes.
in the meantime, we are experiencing our own little exodus, and i'm most certainly not the most brave little follower.
/////i'm scared of transition, change and losing my bearings. i am discovering that i do not cope well with the thought of my precious things being stored in a cage where, oh my goodness, spiders could get on them! i am seeing just how much i idolize the teeny apartment i have found so much comfort in these past few years.
now i am hearing God tell me to "go to the place i have prepared for you."
i am hearing Him tell me that He has some work for me to do.
nevermind the 15 credit hours i am scheduled to kick off in three days. nevermind the duties of wife and mother than only seem to barely succeed when i can predict my evenings at home.
no. now He is telling me to do it all, and stretch even further for just a few weeks.
this devotional series could make or break me. you could love me through the honesty, or hate me for it. maybe i won't be as bad as i think i will.. and maybe i'll run crying before week two. either way, i accept God's call to go where He is sending us and i accept His call to speak about it.
trusting Him is still one of my biggest hurdles. i pray my laments, tears, struggles and emotions pour out through this series and inspire you to take your own opportunities to really open up and tell God when you are afraid or worried or feeling "little of faith."
the Israelites survived four decades of wandering.
Saul went blind and woke up white as snow.
Jesus cried to God, and then beat the grave.
being unsettled doesn't mean i'm weak and failing.
being unsettled means i'm open for God to do His greatest work.