because of this face I know the extremes of human nature
i feel emotions that are not categorized or named
i know what it is to cry out in pain, love and prayer.. sometimes all at once
because of this face I meet days with a different kind of strength
one that can be tested to the limit, and taken advantage of
one that can never be taken away
because of this face I read too much into things
i assume the very worst
and I sometimes hold too tightly
because this face is so innocent, and his heart is so fragile
and how am I ever supposed to protect him from the evil in this world?
how do I ever explain to him why I don't want him going off alone with his friends.. not yet..
or justify the news when he's old enough to understand the headlines?
how am I ever supposed to wake up each day and let him go back into the hands of the Lord
and just play my role as the coach on the sidelines?
how do I expect to keep it together when I see this face that knows nothing but what I let him?
why couldn't God give me a heart of stone
so that the "what if" moments couldn't creep in and break me?
it's because of this face
he needs a tender and emotional leader
and a strong and protective caregiver
he needs someone sensitive enough to sense danger
and crazy enough to believe it and sometimes take alternate routes through life
it's because of this face that I fall apart each day
and scotch tape my heart back together with prayer each night
it's a logic only gifted by God and only understood by other mothers
it's a love that's exactly the same and totally different all at the same time
it's peace and chaos,
spirit and flesh,
all working together to uphold
the will of a power that is beyond our comprehension
and it only works when we're weak
“My grace is sufficient for you,
for my power is made perfect in weakness.”