A reminder to breathe

I am a very impatient person. Everyday I find myself annoyed with a messed up schedule or a slow line at the store; I cannot seem to just breathe through it and find the blessing.

Well, today I did, and I'm beyond grateful for the moment I could have missed out on..

I was running late getting out of the house. I was doing the brush and comb and pack breakfast all at the same time while the dryer " ironed" my shirt. In between tasks i was dressing Eli as he slept on his stomach in the crib. It was just the perfect setup for a hectic morning.. Been there?

As we hustled out into the cold he was still snoring on my shoulder. As neighbors said "good morning!" and mail trucks rumbled through our parking lot, he never budged. I thought 'this will be better than I thought..' Then he popped his head up and I realized, I still had to get him in the carseat.

Eli is a good boy, but he has his routines and waking up in a cold car is not part of it. I pictured him wrestling me as I tried to buckle him in, screaming all the way to daycare, and peeling him off of me as I drop him off and head to work, crying in the car on the way. It really sucks to be disturbed and I do know how to cope.. I can't imagine how hard it is for Eli.

As I feared, he fought good and hard as I tried to bend his plank straight body into a seated position. He looked me right in the eye with his own little "wtf" face and tears ran down his cheeks and over his trembling lip. All I could think was 'i don't have time for this!' But what exactly was more important than soothing him in that moment, honestly?

So I pulled him out and he wrapped around me; two arms, two legs and his head locked into my shoulder. He cried a bit more and eventually calmed down. Then we just stood there by the running car, in the cold, clinging to eachother for as long as he needed.

It was only 5 minutes before he moved, but to have that long to count your blessings, it felt like forever. He popped his head up, eyes and nose red and running and a huge smile on his face. He then took out his binky and planted the biggest kiss right on my mouth.. Then three more. For that one moment I think I was the apple of his eye. I cringed at the thought of forcing him to sit and missing all of this..

I buckled him in and we headed out in silence. As I drove off I moved the mirror so I could look at him. He was breathing in that after-a-good-cry kind of way and when he saw me he just grinned at me with a maturity that was so odd yet so comforting. It's like he was saying 'I really needed that Momma.'

You know what buddy.. I needed it too.

Have a great day everyone :)  

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