There is a candlelit corner of my heart that has been awakened. Much like how a gust of wind sweeps through a campsite and fuels the fire, this part of me has been illuminated. For too long it has felt like a dusty curio cabinet in the back of my mind, a relic of who I used to be. But for a brief moment I rediscovered it, and it stirred me up something good...
It’s the creative part of me, the Picasso part of me. It’s where all of my heartbeats and spirit flutters become personified. It’s where my aura resembles fresh spun pink cotton candy at the opening weekend of the State Fair, and where I am invincible in every sense of the word. There were days where I was so consumed and in tune with this part of me that when I hopped out of bed and stretched out my arms, the devil himself was frightened. Today, I caught a glimpse of that long lost sweet spot in my mind. As I was snooping around in the intellectual parts of my brain, turning rigid white corners, and wiping smudges off…
It's been said, and I've been offended by it -- that snarky jab by people saying: "Jesus is a crutch." while I've barked back and stood firm on what strong faith I have -- such an oh-so-righteous and unshakeable faith -- I realized, maybe He is.
Maybe He is something I lean on, and carry around in order to keep me steady.
Maybe He is a name I call on when I don't have the answer.
Maybe He is a tool I use to appear like I have it all together.
///// I'm accepting this revelation, but rather than thinking that I've been just been leaning on a Savior, I actually feel like I haven't been doing His Grace any justice at all.
Because, if we're gonna go there and say my Lord is a crutch, then let's go all the way there.
i was going through pictures of pregnancy and Eli's infancy and became overwhelmed with emotion. many of you i met long after belly updates and i was never able to engage in nesting chatter or sleepless tweet-a-thons. so i thought i'd share some of what is currently inducing baby fever over here :)
i miss the belly and the kicks and the hiccups i miss the second-to-second living i miss snuggling him when he was milk-drunk and cooing